Hello friends,
It's me, Ge-Off again. I hope everything is good in your lives.
As for me,I have been having a productive day, and a productive week honestly. Everything in school seems to be going the way its supposed to. Psych is still so fascinating to me. I look forward to going to class every time one happens. Even if it's at 9:30 in the morning. I really hope that I won't regret changing my major for the second time.
Today has been really good, I spent the morning and most of the afternoon with my dear friend Kate, doing homework and such. I had a list of "H" things I had to do this weekend (yes, I do think I am incredibly clever) and have knocked almost all of it out today! Hooray!
Many things have been on my mind as of late. The fact that I no longer have a job and that I have to rely on my mother once again is killing me. I hate having to ask her for money...but unfortunately if I want to eat or live I have to. I hope that someday I can pay her back for her endless generosity.
I've also been looking at myself as far as fixing everything about me goes. I know there are some things that just can't be fixed or changed. I have acknowledged that fact that I am overly-emotional and tend to take things far too seriously. I know that in of itself is not a good thing, but my REALIZING that I am like that has led to many good things. It has led to me realizing who I want and need in my life. It has weeded out those who don't need to be here. I have come to the conclusion that if you can't handle me in my emotional stages, you certainly don't deserve to be exposed to my IMMENSE capacity for caring.
I can be the best friend you have in the world, but you have to be able to put up with me. Sometimes, I feel like the people I want in my life, don't want to be there, but that's just my overreactional thinking. Dude, you're a brother to me. I bet someday I will be to you too. I wish there wasn't such a big distance between us, but I guess that's unavoidable. I will see you soon.
I've also been thinking about love...alot. It's been said to me many times, but you really do have to love yourself before you love anyone else. The fact remains, that I am still rather uncomfortable with the person that I am. Not physically, I overcame those issues many years ago. Yeah, I'm a fatty, yeah, I have acne, yeah, I have crooked teeth. Sucks for you if you can't look past that. But, on the inside, I am in turmoil. My emotional ways tend to leave me with more questions than answers about who I am.
My goal right now is to: Go somewhere with the girl that I like right now. Somehow, I am going to muster the courage to ask her out...hopefully soon. Get over the fact that I am not going to see my buddy very often. And, God willing, maybe be more to him than the occasional text message. And, finally, become content with myself. I think that right there will solve issues one and two. We shall see.
Tuesday is gonna be a big day for me. Aside from the fact that I am taking a quiz in my Human Growth and Development class, I am going to Fort Collins for the evening. After completing my quiz, I plan on rushing out of the school, getting in my car and driving as fast as I can to see my friends Kimmy, Kate, Nicole, Matt, and Adam! Softball games make my life complete, and this may be the only that I can go to this semester. This is also gonna be the day that I see my softball buddies for the first time in three weeks. I hope it's a happy reunion. I prayed last night that it goes awesomely and that I don' leave there wishing it had gone differently.
God willing, I will find my way. I will feel satisfied.
-Ge-Off-
My song of the day: Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse. I know that this song is a song about ruining things with your lover and that you want it fixed, but I am in a stage in my life where my friends are the most important thing to me. I don't want to ruin my friendship with Adam anymore. I just wanna turn it around. I don't know what I have to do, but someway, I will find the answers.
