Hey guys, tis me, Ge-Off once again. I noticed that my first post was a little rough, and kinda unorganized. I'm contemplating either deleting it or just editing it..I don't really know yet, haha. But anwyays. Let me start by giving you a little background on me.
I am Geoff, or as most call me, Ge-Off. I am from Longmont, CO, a sleepy little town, but amazing nonetheless. I attend UNC in Greeley, CO. It is only the best school ever, so don't judge. I currently work at Walmart, but will be quitting next week, as school is my number one prority. At UNC I started out as Music Education major with a vocal emphasis, but found that I sing MUCH better in a choral setting, rather than a solo setting. With that in mind, I switched to Art Education, but found that I have lost interest in that, so I am currently an Art major taking Psych classes, haha. I plan to change my declared major to Psychology. I haven't decided yet if I want to be a teacher or a counsellor. Either way, I have enough time to consider that haha.
Can I just say, I love country music. So much. It tells such an amazing story. David Nail might just be my new favorite singer. If you don't know who he is, check him out. He is worth your time, I promise.
Summer....the meat of this post. This summer has been such an emotional ride. One I won't be forgetting soon...and I can't really decide if that's a good thing or not. At the beginning of summer, I was dreading it. I dreaded leaving people. School was such a profound experience for me. Through it, I learned who my real friends are, who I am, and, most importantly, who I'm not. I learned, that you shouldn't have to change who you are for those that matter. You shouldn't have to feel like you're annoying someone every time you talk to them. That's not what a real friend is. But anyways.
What else? Hmmm...I spent alot of time thinking in my room. My room kind of became a central area for me to think, to wallow, and to rejoice. There were many things that I considered, pondered, and did. In the beginning, I would just sit and listen to music. Most of the songs were trying to reassure me that goodbye isn't forever, or self-pity songs. At some point, I decided I didn't want to feel like that anymore. I got up and did stuff, hung out with friends, practiced, and became good at, a song on the piano (Psalm 23 by Z. Randall Stroope. Look it up). Most of the time I was just sitting there, and letting myself be consumed by my emotions.
More background. I never had a significant male, or even female, role model in my life. I grew up in a house torn by fights, drugs, alcohol, screaming, yelling, throwing things, etc. I guess you could say that the only thing I know is volatile/extreme emotions. I tend to take every little thing personally. I overreact, and I cry sometimes. Sometimes out of emotions, out of self-pity...anyways.
The only thing that gave me respite from the torture of the pain I witheld from everyone was being with other people. Anyone. Just being around someone else, simply being in their presence helped to ease my pain. I spent as much time with them as I could. We spent alot of time going to parks late at night, just to talk. Talking seemed to help more than I realize.
Honestly, besides what was said in my last post, my summer has been pretty unremarkable. Since I got my job at Walmart, I have had no time for a social life. I haven't seen my good friends since about three weeks ago when we all went bowling.
Um, I've rekindled an old fling I had. Hopefully it will go somewhere this time. Needless to say, I still really like this girl.
I'm scared that I am going to lose a friend to my emotional ways. I thought that I had complete control over my actions, and in some respects I do, but I still make stupid mistakes, and I pray everyday for God to bless me with patience, and strength. I have to believe in myself too. I just care about this person...a lot. I just met him, but he has quickly become like a brother to me, and it worries me that I am doing a better job of pushing him away than he is. He sees nothing wrong, but I continue to make something wrong. I guess I need prayer...and belief. Pray for me, if you fancy. I can't really do this on my own.
I can't even tell you how much music empowers me. Songs tend to speak to me on a very personal level, and I won't add a song to my I-pod unless it relates to something that is going on, has gone on, or makes me think "what if this were to happen to me?" Good shtuff.
I noticed that this blog is turning into a kind of random train of thought, but these are the things on my mind right now. Perhaps I should change the title, haha.
Gloriana is my favorite BAND! Different than singer haha. Check em' out. I got to meet them this summer, actually! That was such a fun experience. I randomly got tickets to the Greeley Stampede, and won backstage passes for a meet n' greet. It. Was. AMAZING! Such cool people, and such talented musicians. Check em' out, for real. Rachel...mmmm mmmm mmmm.
My laptop gets really hot when I leave it on for a long time.
I'm learning a new song on the piano called "Never Alone" by Jim Brickman. Gorgeous. Lady Antebellum sings on the recording of it, and it's awesome. Again, such talented musicians.
Back to my earlier point about losing a friend. I don't like losing friends, nor do I like making people angry (though I seem to have a knack for that...). But at the same time, friendship is a two way road. It takes two to tango, insert any other cliche expression here _____. Sometimes, it's nice to be reminded that you are being thought of every once in a while. I am almost to the point where I am going to walk away and give up on it all...which goes against my personality, but I don't like feeling like this anymore. Any suggestions as to what I should do? Meh.
Listened to a song today, by Gloriana, called "Time To Let Me Go"....think about it, it will come to you why that song spoke to me.
I've found that the songs that get stuck in my head are the ones that pertain most to the things on my mind, but I guess that's not all that strange.
I think that my life would make a kick-ass reality T.V. show, and I've thought about pitching it to MTv, just to see what would happen, haha. I would call it "The Big Five". That's what my friends and I have dubbed ourselves. Check my blog page out, they are the ones in the phote. Awesome people.
This is helping out alot, just to keep my mind off of things.
I think that this is plenty for one post, I am sure that I will have more to talk about in the next couple of days. Tomorrow is my day off and I plan to deposit my check, buy my textbooks, and then go visit my new chica friend at work. Should be a good day.
"May you always have hope, and may you find happiness, for that is what all hearts yearn for."
"Always stay 'Wild at Heart'".
No comments:
Post a Comment